I read this story recently and it really got me thinking.A lot of the time we forget that perception is not only one way,but is influenced mainly by ourselves.I decided to share it with you.Enjoy!

NB:No copyright infringement intended.This is not my original material!

A young couple moved into a new neighbourhood. The next morning whilst eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbour hanging the wash outside.

“That laundry is not clean” she said. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap”. Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time the neighbour would hang laundry to dry, the young woman would

make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: “Look, she has learnt how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this”!

The husband said: “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows”!!!
And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window 

through which we look! Easy to discuss other people, their lives and things that don’t really concern us. Yet we tend to forget- our window isn’t that clean afterall!!!
Take the big fat log out of your own eyes before you can remove the skinny little stick from someone else’s.

Enjoy your week!

The Grass is not always greener on the other side

Once upon a time there lived a farmer with his wife and children on his own land.He had a plow and an old ox that he would use to prepare his land for farming.He wasn’t rich but he was content because he had all he needed.Then one day an old priest passing through his farm told him the story of how beautiful diamonds were being found all over the world in India,South Africa,Spain and all kinds of other places.Men were picking up these diamonds and selling them to become wealthy.That night this farmer could not sleep just imagining all the diamonds he could sell and the money to be made.The next day he decided to go look for some of these diamonds in India.He sold all his land and property to another farmer,gave some money to his family and told them he would be back with lots of money.He set off,went to India,then to South Africa,then Spain,and all kinds of places,just searching for diamonds.He never did find them,and was poor,old,wretched and tired.One day he simply jumped into the sea and drowned.
Meanwhile the other farmer who bought his property was plowing one day with the same plow and ox the previous owner had used when he noticed this black shiny rock.He picked it up and noticed how a rainbow of colors seemed to be literally caught in it.He was so taken with it that he took it into his house and set it on his mantle.A few days later this old priest passing through again went to visit the new owner and saw the rock on his mantle.He asked the farmer where he got it and he said they were just lying around his farm.That old priest used to be a jeweller,and he saw that that rock was a diamond.He went out with the farmer and walked the land,and there were just acres and acres of these rocks.This is the story of the mines of Golconda,the richest diamond find in history.
The previous farmer had been walking all over the diamonds in his own backyard but lost his life chasing diamonds in exotic countries.If the grass looks greener on the other side,fertilise and water your side!No need to go chasing diamonds when they are right in your own home!-Culled from Russel Conway’s Acres of Diamonds by Yvonne Nyavor.

Image copyright http://pinoytransplant.com/2011/05/17/no-green-grass-of-home/

Adventures in Hair:An African's journey in Commitment

Interesting title huh?Sounds like some long treatise in an academic journal but I promise its anything but that.First let me say that this something quite personal and some of you may not agree with me, but its personal so that's to be expected.Secondly,enjoy reading and let me know what you think!

I was brought up like most Ghanaian girls of my generation with short cropped hair till I finished high school.During high school some of my class mates would keep their hair growing and tie it down at night so it looked short the next day,because it was required that we all have short cropped hair.In our final year some even did plaits and other things during vacations.As you may probably have guessed by now,I wasn't one of those.I was never particularly interested.All I wanted to do was just hide somewhere with a good novel.Who cared about hair when my heroine was getting swept off her feet by her dashing Prince Charming?

I should say though that I didn't have anything against those who liked long hair and stuff like that.I just wasn't interested.My mom however had long completely natural hair.Why do I mention this now?Because I enjoyed helping her remove her braids or corn rows( which she kept them in all the time) and I enjoyed the feel of the hair.I could run my fingers through her hair and play with her coils and that actually was something I did with my own kinky coils.I would be pulling and playing with them,especially the hair at my temples,till they fell out.I liked feeling the hair and it kind of became an absent minded/thinking/something to do with my hands kinda thing.

Its after high school.My mom started me off by plaiting my hair with thread(an African way of stretching natural hair called the tension method) because thats what she did with her hair.My hair was very healthy and plentiful, but it was too painful!On hair days I literally cried when my mom was fixing my hair and I just couldn't take it anymore.So I ran to my big sister for help, and she got me my first relaxer.I didn't really like my hair straight (wierdly).I preferred the rough kinky texture of my natural hair and the 'big hair' type look I had with my natural hair.However I kept at the relaxer cos I didn't really know any better alternative.I just kept my hair in pony-tails,braids and weaves most of the time and if I got a relaxer,I would curl my hair.My hair was fine,growing ok, and even started growing pretty well with the relaxer.I reconciled myself to that and decided to stay with it.Because I got bored very easily with my own hair,I always got other styles put in and every few months I would get a hair cut to try a different syle,but  it wasn't really working out.

Fast forward to after graduation from university.I was just browsing one day and found a video of a Black-American woman with lots of hair and it wasn't relaxed or weaved in.Apart from my mom and auntie I hadn't seen that before and she looked like she wasn't in any pain doing her hair.That's when I realised I could actually have my hair however I wanted it without it having to be painful.So I said to myself,'Hmm,I wonder how challenging it would be to try that?Ok!Challenge accepted!' lol.

When I cut off my relaxed hair,my auntie asked me why I did it because she didn't understand why anyone would want to cut off long hair when people were craving long hair.I said it was just to try something new.And that's why I stopped relaxing.

I have a lot of respect for those who have natural hair because they have issues with putting chemicals on their heads,or the gender stereotypes or racial issues or heat treatments, and I would like to say I have natural hair because of some noble reason,but its simply because I like it,and its something new.Its not because lots of people are doing it and its not because I think relaxers are 'evil',its simply because I want to learn to take care of my own hair and actually be commited to it.Till I cut off my hair I didn't even know I could do it, but its been fun.I enjoy learning hair styles and attempting them, and I like the fact that I can change my hair style everyday,by myself.Even more I like the fact that I haven't given up(thanks to encouragement from Annete of http://naturalistagh.blogspot.com/) even when my hair seemed completely unmanageable while in the past I would probably have got a relaxer.I like the fact that I stayed commited in hard times and now good times.Its what I playfully call commitment training 101 for marriage!(hahahaha!)

 So there!That's why I have natural hair.If you have natural hair or considering it I hope this was interesting for you and I would love to know why you have natural hair.Thanks for reading and I hope this has been a fun read!I blog on my hair journey over at the Ghana Hair Chick blog so feel free to check it out.Cheers and remember change begins with you!

Studies,travelling,food and such

I have been conspicuously absent!Wow!Its been months since my last post and so I am sure some of you are tired of waiting for a new post!Well,here it is!
I have decided to write on something I'm sure a lot of you are interested in knowing more about:studying outside your home country.First though,before you get excited and start looking for links to scholarships,please take a minute to ask yourself a few questions.Top of the list would be what your plans/dreams for your life are.Depending on your answer you may not need to read any further because you may not need to undertake further education in certain areas.For example,if you want to be a businessman and you already have an MBA you may not need to do a PhD because a PhD is more or less an academic degree.If you don't plan to stay in academia or the research department of a big company, a PhD may not be for you.
The next question would be what you wanna study and for how long.That would determine which country you should pick because let's face it,some countries are better at certain programs than others.Also,your choice of country would depend on your personal ability to adjust to strange environments,source of funding and your need to have friends or family around.If for instance you have a difficulty in really cold environments,a Norwegian education may be particularly difficult for you.Also,if you can't live without buying food and your stomach revolts at every new dish, you probably need to go to a country that has a similar cuisine to your home country.
Just in case you have no preferences, you should consider how your choice of country will affect your future plans.If you want to live in a particular country for the rest of your life,it might be easier to go to school in that country since getting a job after that would be easier than moving from another country.

All the above being settled,the next question would be how do you plan to fund your studies?For an answer to that question,join me for part 2 of this article soon.Till then,have a fabulous day!

So Long,Farewell!

Hmm!It has been quite the day.I was chatting with a friend on Whatsapp and he told me the President of the Republic of Ghana was dead.I was like "seriously do not play with this dude!Too many people have been talking about this issue of late oo!If you are playing a prank its not funny at all"!He still insisted that it was true so I decided to cross check.Lo and behold it was true!OMG!It was completely unbelievable to me.It is such sad sad news and I am still a little down.Its not because I am an NDC person but its simply because he was my president.
Its something I believe all of us Ghanaians need to learn.No matter the politics of whoever is our President,he/she is still our President and needs to be respected as such.Therefore regardless of our right to freedom of speech, we need to exercise that right very carefully when it comes to the President.If he was ill it behooved on all of us to simply pray for him that he gets better instead of sitting on radio saying all kinds of things and talking anyhow in our homes.Its quite unfortunate that we allow politics to cloud our judgement when it comes to this issue, but we need to understand that our words have power.If we want to see Ghana develop and have strong leaders, we need to speak such things into being instead of speaking negative things.
Well, that's my two cents on the matter.I hope we all learn from this and change our negative habits when it comes to talking about our leaders and our country.I pray that his family shall receive the comfort of the Lord and find peace in this trying time.I also pray for our just sworn in president that he can stand strong and do the work that lies ahead of him with excellence and love.
Rest in Peace His Excellency John Evans Atta Mills.

A Love Letter to my Mr.Perfect

Dear Mr. Lover Boy
I know this letter may come as a surprise to you because the last time we talked(which was just a few minutes ago) everything seemed perfect.I do not mean to hurt you or to make you feel bad in anyway.However I need to write this letter to let you know the truth.
You have been so awesome.All the calls,texts,dates, Facebook messages..it’s been like a dream come true for me.You are truly my Prince Charming come to rescue me from this castle of hum drum single loveless misery and I am so glad to have met you.Because you have been so good to me I feel obliged to point out some things to you.
Last night you said you loved me and wanted to spend the rest of your life with me.Hmm!I wonder if you really thought that one through because you might wanna take that back.Don’t worry.I won’t hold it against you if after reading this letter you decide to do just that.I am sure by now your heart is pounding in anticipation of some life changing revelations about me.Let’s get on with it then shall we?..(sigh).
So you think I am pretty and you like my hair.Well,my ‘hair’ is technically not my hair.You see, I have really short hair that refuses to grow.So in order to help my hair along I went to the salon and got hair extensions.Of course it’s mainly because you like long hair that I do it.When I take the extensions out I look very different.Remember that lady we saw on tv the other time?The one you thought was not pretty?Well I kinda look like that without the hair extensions.
Oh but that’s no big deal!I am sure you just thought that.Ok.You have never seen me in the morning before I shower and dress up.You came by the house yesterday morning before work to see me but I refused to see you because I wasn’t dressed.I am so sorry about that but you see my face is not at all the smooth one you see everyday.I have such a severe case of acne I have to wear concealer all the time.The black spots have really drawn a map of the world with my face and I have tried to fix it to no avail.Plus my morning breath is..you know what?Let’s just leave that for later.
I am sure none of the above is a big deal to you.I also wanted to point out that I will not stay this way forever contrary to what you expect.I mean the tight little body with all the curves in the right places?That’s just not gonna last.I know this because I will have kids and there will be some sagging here and there and even if I don’t become fat some things are gonna droop and not be tight anymore.You still with me?Good.Because I need for you to understand that this picture perfect beauty you see on the outside will fade.
But there’s my character and my good habits right?Well technically I am not a good housekeeper and I kinda suck at cooking.All the food you eat when you visit is bought(sorry!I know you dislike outside food!).As for my budgeting and money management skills the least said about them the better.I may look all clean and organized to you but my room is another story.On the average day it looks like a tornado came tearing through there(that tornado being me in search of something..lol).On a good day it’s just a hurricane.Not too bad yeah?And then there’s my cleaning and bathroom etiquette and the snoring and..oh!The list goes on.I hope I already mentioned the fake lashes and brown eyebrow pencil.
I know you might still be in shock but I needed to let you know these things so you can make your decision with all the information you need.I mean I don’t want you telling me I have changed after our wedding now do I?So after this if you are sure you still want me,well then you must be a better man than I am!

Sincerely With Love
Princess
(Well actually Afia Real Girl.Sorry you just found out my real name too)

Lessons at my Granny's knee

I started a series on the people that have been very instrumental in shaping and forming me into the person God planned for me to be.I am a work in progress,but I can definitely look back and see the impact that specific people had on me without even realizing or knowing it.One of such people was my maternal grandmother, or Dada as we called her.

Dada was one tough old lady.Having grown up in one of the remote portions of colonial Ghana, she grew up without formal education and learned to farm and to trade.That was what she did to take care of her family of five children,my mom being the second.My earliest memory of her would be her sitting on her little stool out in the sun weeding( yes weeding!) or cracking nuts or some such thing,and this was no mean feat for someone who was almost 70 years old.She was always doing something.If there ever was a firm believer in hard work.it was my grandmother.No idleness for her!That is one thing I have come to appreciate about her.She knew that there was so much to do and so she didn't believe in wasting time.

Perhaps the one thing I will always remember her for is the fact that she insisted on me learning to speak my mother tongue.I was about five or so and couldn't speak it very well, and she came and said I was going to learn to speak it whether I liked it or not.I am really grateful for that because otherwise I am pretty sure I would be lost if I had to go to my hometown!

Some of the best memories I have are of her telling us stories about growing up in her time and the things they did.She would also tell us all these parables and riddles that set us thinking till we could solve them.She would always give us kids a piece of meat from her bowl because where she grew up that was the culture.One of the most valuable cultural lessons she taught me had to do with honesty.She grew up in a large family, and this was fairly common in those days, so whenever the kids were eating together they had to find a way to split the meat fairly among them.What they would do was pick one person to split the meat into equal pieces and then everyone would take their share, but in order to ensure that the person doing the splitting up did not cheat ,he/she would be the last to pick their piece of meat.Morale of this?Be fair otherwise you get stuck with the smallest piece of meat!That was just one of the many things she taught us and I am grateful to have known and spent time with such a grand old lady.When she died I was devastated, but she was pretty old by then.I was in college at the time and she had already been ill for a while.She would always be complaining about being cooped up and so sick she couldn't do anything.She just hated being idle but I guess she had no choice then.It was tough on her and on all of us to see this feisty lady confined in such a way, but through it all we remembered that it would only be for a short while.

I thank God for her life,( because otherwise I wouldn't have been born)!But seriously, she taught me the importance of respecting your culture and the need for hard work.For that I will always be grateful.I do miss her, especially running to her whenever I got in trouble with my mum or auntie, knowing that she would be there to listen and protect me.It is an honor to be her grand daughter.
(image courtesy: jonathanpritchard.co.uk)